Is it over yet?

I feel like there is so much going to be going on, but I'm having to wait for it to happen and I just want it all over with. 2 weeks from today we begin the moving process, and 3 weeks from today we have to have this house emptied and cleaned and keys turned in. I keep packing the house, because I can't sit and do nothing every single day. I can't shop or even grocery shop because it's just more stuff to move. I did get all the kids Christmas things ordered and they should be here this week, but we still have to move them. Right now I am still planning to let the military movers move me, but I am still worried they won't like that I packed so much stuff.
The bottom line for me is we don't have nice stuff. We do have a pretty nice (to me) computer and 2 big flat screen TVs, but even one of those has a huge scratch down it from a toy being driven on it. We have put our value in children and want to give them nice toys and clothes, but at this point they still destroy everything. So like I said we don't have nice things that need special packing. I also don't want to have to unpack every box to get to the things I need in WA since we'll be moving to Texas in ~7 months. When I pack for myself every thing is grouped by room and state I want it opened in. I also have to be able to do it with 5 kids underfoot so I can't have long explanations for movers of what goes where.
If only Tony was home I would just pack it all and let him get some friends to help move it and call it good, but being by myself I just can't do it all. (Even though sometimes I think I can. :)
I am trying to rely on the help of others, but every time I do I'm reminded why I never rely on others because everyone has their own priorities.

On a more positive side, we do have a time frame for when Tony will be home. ~50 days give or take a few so I am a little excited, but I still feel like all the things listed above keep me from being excited to get him. Normally I'd begin to get stuff ready for him. Buy his things that he'll need when he gets home, soap, deodorant  foods he likes, but instead I'm trying to move have Christmas and then get him home all in ~50 days.
However I am an awesome army wife and take it and go on all while caring for 5 kids and a house. And I know that it will all melt away when I no longer have to worry about him and his safety on a daily basis.

Whirlwind of events

I have been around and around with our rental company about this move. All I am trying to get out of them is if the owners are planning on repainting when they return. However I have been yelled at for not "telling" the army when they have to move us. Since we have decided to go to post the army will move us. However as everything army related there are hoops I have to jump through on their timeline.
I went into housing on Wednesday this past week and got everything situated for us to take a 4 bedroom home on December 11th. I have been to the transportation office and they will move us, but I have to attend a briefing first on December 3rd.
Also on Wednesday I spoke with the receptionist at the rental office, Rose. She proceeded to tell me that even though they told me I have to move that I must give them notice by the 10th of November if I plan to move out in December and not pay the whole months rent. I said that I didn't know exactly when the movers could move our stuff and she said that was too bad since we we're "choosing to move in December". While that is a bit true since we are on orders for July I don't want to sign a 6 month lease with plans to break it so that requires I move out by about the 15th of December. I also gave the rental company a chance to help me find a place to move, but all they returned to me with was to move to a house in Clearwood (which is about 15-20 minutes further away from here on what has become quite a dangerous road in the winter and dark. Sorry but Tony already spends ~40 minutes driving and I don't want to drive it daily to take the kids to school.)  She was very rude and at one point told me I was taking the Clearwood offer "out of the context". Not really sure what was "out of context".  She also told me that she was/is military and that I just needed to call them up and tell them when I needed to move and that I needed to know when they were moving me. (At this point I hadn't been to the transportation office due to a misled office staff member at the office.)
After about 10-15 minuted of Rose yelling over me and not listening just yelling at me she hung up on me.
At that point I had to deal with my children so I let it go. About 15 minutes later a different staff member called to tell me that the owner of the company had overheard Rose's side of the conversation and wanted to know what was going on. He was filled in by the office and he said that since it was unique circumstances  and that they were asking me to vacate and that I was complying just before they had asked he said that they could allow me to give notice when I knew my dates. The second staff member did say though that they "work for the owners", which was helpful to me in solidifying that this move is on me and they won't care if I wait until January to move. If I don't find somewhere to live they don't care because I am not their concern. And because my kids are a great concern to me I have to be proactive and get moved to a place where we can live until time to go to Texas.
However to do things right I complied with their request to know a date far in advanced and just picked a date and will do my best to be out by then. I turned in my notice on Friday November 9th to be out by December 18th.
I am still hoping to talk to the rental agent about the moving out cleaning/painting. I want to be sure if I hire their cleaner that I will be returned my whole deposit. However the more I think about this situation and the whole cleaning vs. painting debate, I'm going to do the right thing and pray that God will make this situation right for me and help me through it.
But to make this clear, I don't want to move and this has been a horrible situation for me to have to deal with while Tony is deployed. He doesn't care either way as he'll support whatever I decide to do, that makes it no easier. I like the location we live in, I like the school the kids go to, I like the church we go to and most of all we have had our plan to move next summer for a year now and moving in Dec/Jan really messes that up as now we'll be responsible for clearing another house.
I am emotionally spent on this whole experience.

A little better

Today is a little better. I got to have bible study with Staci and even though we didn't work on our study we did get to talk about me moving and getting help. I wish Tony was here to help me work this out but I really trust that God will help me through this. I do wish Tony would come along so we could talk about it.

Freaking out

I got a courtesy call this morning from the rental company that the owners are coming back to take the house in January some time. We recently came down on orders to Ft.Bliss Texas in July. We were planning to leave here late June when the kids get out of school to head down there. We only needed a house to stay in until then. I am having a panic attack. I don't know where or when or how to move and even less by myself with 5 kids. AND the most important thing to me is for Zavier to finish kindergarten where he is. He is doing so much better than I expected at all. He is thriving not just surviving like I expected. I am crushed by the thought of moving him. They are trying to get the owners to hold off until February so that Tony can come home first, but I don't know even what the best choice is. It's almost like we should pack most stuff and live with minimum stuff so were ready to go to Texas. I am leaving this up to God to help me and to Tony to tell me what to do.
I don't want to do this alone. :(

My Zayden

I love this little boy to pieces, but he makes so crazy. He really wants to get a rise out of of me all the time. Everything I say to him he has to say no to. I have started a Bible study with some local church friends and I am hoping I will learn some new coping devices to relate and teach him. He seems so angry in his heart and I want him to feel truly loved. He just needs to do some boy things with his dad so we are really excited for daddy to come home. He is so far not having any trouble in school that I know of. His teacher didn't seem to friendly when we went to have lunch at the school the last few times so I can't really get a read on things. Parent teacher conferences will be in early November so I will really have a better plan by then.

Being a SAHM

Is like never leaving the office. Having toddlers/children around all day would be like if your papers were constantly in a tornado spinning around the room never knowing when and where each paper would fall. I try not to complain about being a SAHM, but some days I feel like each child is a tornado spinning around and around. Crumbs, food, juice, milk, toys, dirt, rocks, dirty diapers, blankets falling from the spin. I can't say I would too willingly change what I do, because I absolutely do not want others to raise my babies, but some days I wish I had a job, just for a few hours. Maybe in the future once the kids are older I could possibly have a job for a few hours a day, but until then I will fill my 30 years of commitment to raising my children the best I can because to me that is what a mother is for.

Sisters :)

So Stefanie came to visit after not seeing each other since November 2010. It was so nice to have her here. We had a really good time and went out and did things everyday she was here. The kids love having her here and I must say while Zander and Abbie really only like mommy and cry when cared for by others, they both were very friendly and happy to see Stefanie. Stefanie has what seems to be a rather serious boyfriend, but I am still hoping they will come live near us after we move next summer or if we don't. lol. I miss having my sister around as I haven't been able to find that one close friend here like I have had other places. Her new boyfriend doesn't have siblings so he certainly wouldn't understand, but hopefully we can get close enough to visit a lot more often. Her boyfriend, Scott, is into sports and even coaches so I know he and Tony would at least have fun going to games and watching sports and we have a house full of boys to go with them. And Stefanie and I could keep up on the pedicures we got while she was here. We took Zander and Abbie with us to get pedis and it would be fun to do it a little more often than this being the 2nd ones we each have had. ;) And we are raising Abbie to be a princess so pedis often will be required.
I am excited for what the next year will hold for Stefanie and Scott and what we will be doing come next summer. We've been eager to get out of WA for a while now.