Thursday, January 26, 2012
Plus one
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
This is slightly annoying
Periodically Zayden will come home with a paper or stack of papers labeled "not listening" or something else just as "informational". What the heck is the point of writing that on there and sending it home to me? All it tells me is he's either really distracted or totally bored and can't pay attention to what the goal is. I usually just blow it off after briefly expressing my disappointment.
I think I want
A homebirth. I looked it up more when Tony was going to deploy before baby was born so that I wouldn't have to leave Zander to go have a baby. However when we were racing the clock a bit I wanted an induction to be an option do that he could be there when his baby girl was born. It seems though now that we're pretty certain he will at least be here for delivery and possibly his 10 paternity days. Well the midwife that I contacted before contacted me this morning to check to see if I was still interested and I said no to begin with, but the more I think about it I do want to deliver at home. Deliveries are rather smooth and midwives are very well equipped today. I am totally scared to give birth because it is so painful. However I will be drug free either way. I have wanted one since I had Zayden but never had the support or the funds. Today I found the cost of the midwife here is totally reasonable and affordable for us. I do want to talk it over with Tony, but even he mentioned a few weeks ago how convenient it would be to deliver at home so we don't have to work out childcare for during the delivery. I do know he is wierded out if I was to deliver in our bed, but I don't have to. Hopefully he'll give me the ok to meet the midwife and see that she would fit for our delivery. This is something I would love to experience since this is my "last".
Finally got the call
from the Principal. He seemed to be in such a hurry to take care of this (eyeroll). We did have a snow week last week, but still today is Wednesday. I have already come to the conclusion that he doesn't like to deal with me after our encounter or lack there of in May.
He called and I explained the situation and how I didn't want it to happen again. He didn't have much to say other than that was out of the ordinary for that "teaching team" meaning the 1st grade teachers. He said that wasn't normal practice, possibly a few minutes to finish up a few problems. He did say that he would go down and talk it over with them.
I guess I'm satisfied because there isn't much to do after the fact and I really don't think this could be a reoccurring problem at least I hope not.
I am planning to e-mail the teacher to request a meeting with her. I don't feel like Zayden is being challenged at all and therefore is bored. I think that was part of Zachary's problem last year. He just didn't have enough of a challenge that he would often get in trouble for silly stuff like talking, being out of his seat, messing around. And this year I feel like his teacher is really challenging him and I haven't had the same problems coming home as last year. Hopefully I can meet with her and make sure Zayden is having some sort of challenges besides "neat handwriting in reading".
He called and I explained the situation and how I didn't want it to happen again. He didn't have much to say other than that was out of the ordinary for that "teaching team" meaning the 1st grade teachers. He said that wasn't normal practice, possibly a few minutes to finish up a few problems. He did say that he would go down and talk it over with them.
I guess I'm satisfied because there isn't much to do after the fact and I really don't think this could be a reoccurring problem at least I hope not.
I am planning to e-mail the teacher to request a meeting with her. I don't feel like Zayden is being challenged at all and therefore is bored. I think that was part of Zachary's problem last year. He just didn't have enough of a challenge that he would often get in trouble for silly stuff like talking, being out of his seat, messing around. And this year I feel like his teacher is really challenging him and I haven't had the same problems coming home as last year. Hopefully I can meet with her and make sure Zayden is having some sort of challenges besides "neat handwriting in reading".
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Beginning to get ready for baby girl.
I'm slowly getting ready for Baby Girl's arrival. While many keep telling me I need all things new in girl colors, I'm not feeling it. While I do prefer she have mostly girly clothes, I don't want more towels, bibs, diaper bag, diapers. I have bought her newborn diapers (cloth) but they are mostly boy or gender neutral colors. Since she'll have clothes covering them I don't think it matters too much. I am having fun buying girl clothes, but I still haven't bought more than I will need. Even having 4 boys go through things some were hardly worn and since we're pretty sure she's the last I plan to get by on minimal stuff. I already feel like our house is busting at the seems sometimes just fitting in all 6 of us. And with no real plans to move...
We have got her a crib, Zander's old one and got him a different one. I rearranged the boys clothes so that Zander's stuff could go into one of the dressers we already have and baby will take the dresser that Zander used. We have 2 bouncer seats, one for up and one for down. I kind of want a swing, but I'm afraid with a toddler and so many areas in the house that can't be seen from others I may not want to leave her in it. I'm planning to just wear her around all the time. lol It is the only way to keep her safe from some brotherly love. ;)
I did go through all I have bought so far to see what I still wanted since I had a 30% off to kohls and receive kohls cash for any purchases. I grabbed her another dress and 3 more newborn outfits so that between the 5 outfits, 3-4 onsies, and 8 gowns I should be all set for newborn stuff. Then for the next size up I have a few more. I am going to run to the goodwill on monday since it's 1/2 off all donated items and see if they have anything I need. lol
We have bought a few pink blankets and I decided I don't want a crib set, I'm just going to use a sheet that I got and one of the blankets for her bed set. I did get a new mobile so that she doesn't have to look at mickey mouse and the sporting equipment that Zander had. lol However what I got her isn't girly since I couldn't find one I liked that lit up with a remote that was girly.
We're going in a few weeks for a 3d/4d ultrasound. I hope we get some good pictures of her. While I feel like I have a long way to go, I know it's not really. I'm 27+ weeks now.
We have got her a crib, Zander's old one and got him a different one. I rearranged the boys clothes so that Zander's stuff could go into one of the dressers we already have and baby will take the dresser that Zander used. We have 2 bouncer seats, one for up and one for down. I kind of want a swing, but I'm afraid with a toddler and so many areas in the house that can't be seen from others I may not want to leave her in it. I'm planning to just wear her around all the time. lol It is the only way to keep her safe from some brotherly love. ;)
I did go through all I have bought so far to see what I still wanted since I had a 30% off to kohls and receive kohls cash for any purchases. I grabbed her another dress and 3 more newborn outfits so that between the 5 outfits, 3-4 onsies, and 8 gowns I should be all set for newborn stuff. Then for the next size up I have a few more. I am going to run to the goodwill on monday since it's 1/2 off all donated items and see if they have anything I need. lol
We have bought a few pink blankets and I decided I don't want a crib set, I'm just going to use a sheet that I got and one of the blankets for her bed set. I did get a new mobile so that she doesn't have to look at mickey mouse and the sporting equipment that Zander had. lol However what I got her isn't girly since I couldn't find one I liked that lit up with a remote that was girly.
We're going in a few weeks for a 3d/4d ultrasound. I hope we get some good pictures of her. While I feel like I have a long way to go, I know it's not really. I'm 27+ weeks now.
Zayden's "messy" work
This is the original work that was deemed sloppy by the reading teacher and that he didn't complete during class time. He completed this in the 25 minutes before lunch. (While I was with Zachary.)
Friday, January 13, 2012
Don't know where to start...
but let me find a place.
Today was one of those days that I knew was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day for Zayden. He's not acted like his normal self since school resumed on the 3rd of January. He has had more bad days than good. Today I knew was going to be a bad one. This morning he was playing around during breakfast and he knocked a glass jar off the counter. I got after him for playing around because last week he knocked off a box of legos. When I got after him he got a bit emotional and he usually doesn't when he just gets in trouble with no consequences. I should have known then he'd be better off today. While I'm still unsure of the adult side of the situation at school today I do know what I saw and how the day has appeared to my 6 year old.
Since it was a rough morning for him and Tony was off I decided to go into eat lunch with the boys. I get to the school a few minutes before Zachary's lunch and something made me want to walk down to Zayden's pod (group of classes) while I waited. So I did. I see him instantly sitting in the pod working on some work. I go over see what he's doing. He tells me it was not a good day and that he had to sit out there and finish this packet (7 pages). I tell him that it's ok and to just keep working on it. I'll be there to eat lunch with him after I go with Zachary.
I go off and leave him be and sit with Zachary during his lunch. Then Zachary wants me to walk back to his class with him so I do. Then I head back towards the lunchroom to meet up with Zayden. However when I see Zayden's teacher I've already figured out that he wasn't in the line. The teacher walks over to me and says that he's had a really awful day and week. I told her a bit about his morning and that I knew it was going to be rough. She tells me that he didn't do any work in reading this morning so she told him he couldn't go to lunch until he had finished the work from reading. I say ok and head down to where he is.
He is sitting there crying and I tell him it's ok and to stop crying cause he can't see through his teachers to work on his papers. He dries them up and gets back to working on the papers. When I see what he is doing it looks very much like what he was doing when I was down there 30 minutes ago before I had lunch with Zachary. I ask Zayden what he was doing and he says that he has to re-do this (8 page) packet before lunch. I pick up the other packet laying there and ask what it is. He tells me that it is work that has been deemed "messy" by his reading teacher. I look through the "messy" packet and do see some spots of messy work, but certainly not worth re-doing 8 pages. (They are writing pages where he writes letters on the top half, sentences on the bottom and then a few words on the back for him to write, nothing to read).
After about 10 minutes his teacher comes back from leaving the class at lunch. She looks over what he is doing and asked him what the packet that was just laying there was for. He says something about re-doing it because it's messy so she takes it and throws it in the recycling. The whole time he sat there he continued to keep working.
Eventually the recess bell rings meaning lunch is over and recess is to begin. He's still got about 2 pages left and he keeps going. He is a bit upset because now he knows lunch is over. He finally finishes the packet at 1:17. Lunch started at 12:45 and ended at 1:10 (I think on the ending). He takes it over to the reading teacher sitting in the pod eating her lunch. She says something about doing his work and then looks through the packet again commenting that it is sloppy. At this point what wouldn't be sloppy now that he has done 15 pages in about 75 minutes with no break. I'm tired just watching what he has done. I say nothing because I'm just observing.
He then goes into his room puts his pencil away and goes to find his lunch. He can't find his lunch because it was carried down with the lunch bucket. Lunch is over by this point for more than 10 minutes. He asks his teacher and she tells him to go check the lunch bucket. He heads down to check the bucket and gets his lunch. He not realizing lunch is over wants to go in to the lunch room to eat lunch. I tell him that lunch is over and that he can't go sit in there. The tables are all folded up.
I care no more about what he is supposed to be doing and take him to sit on the couch by the front door so that he can finally sit down to have lunch. He and I sit there while he eats. The recess bell rings and he's like that the bell. I just tell him to finish eating his lunch because I'm not leaving him hungry or without eating.
He finishes his lunch after the 25 minutes I gave him and we head back down to his class. He goes in to sit down with the other kids and the teacher tells him to go sit at his desk and work on something, I wasn't sure what. I stand there a few moments to make sure he's going to be ok, but I can't take much more so I know I should leave.
I head back to the office where I ask to see the principal, but he's not available. I give a short synopsis to the office person and ask if it's normal that kids have to miss their lunches to do work. She takes some notes and says that she will have the principal give me a call.
That is the story. I'll come back later to react and add some details.
Today was one of those days that I knew was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day for Zayden. He's not acted like his normal self since school resumed on the 3rd of January. He has had more bad days than good. Today I knew was going to be a bad one. This morning he was playing around during breakfast and he knocked a glass jar off the counter. I got after him for playing around because last week he knocked off a box of legos. When I got after him he got a bit emotional and he usually doesn't when he just gets in trouble with no consequences. I should have known then he'd be better off today. While I'm still unsure of the adult side of the situation at school today I do know what I saw and how the day has appeared to my 6 year old.
Since it was a rough morning for him and Tony was off I decided to go into eat lunch with the boys. I get to the school a few minutes before Zachary's lunch and something made me want to walk down to Zayden's pod (group of classes) while I waited. So I did. I see him instantly sitting in the pod working on some work. I go over see what he's doing. He tells me it was not a good day and that he had to sit out there and finish this packet (7 pages). I tell him that it's ok and to just keep working on it. I'll be there to eat lunch with him after I go with Zachary.
I go off and leave him be and sit with Zachary during his lunch. Then Zachary wants me to walk back to his class with him so I do. Then I head back towards the lunchroom to meet up with Zayden. However when I see Zayden's teacher I've already figured out that he wasn't in the line. The teacher walks over to me and says that he's had a really awful day and week. I told her a bit about his morning and that I knew it was going to be rough. She tells me that he didn't do any work in reading this morning so she told him he couldn't go to lunch until he had finished the work from reading. I say ok and head down to where he is.
He is sitting there crying and I tell him it's ok and to stop crying cause he can't see through his teachers to work on his papers. He dries them up and gets back to working on the papers. When I see what he is doing it looks very much like what he was doing when I was down there 30 minutes ago before I had lunch with Zachary. I ask Zayden what he was doing and he says that he has to re-do this (8 page) packet before lunch. I pick up the other packet laying there and ask what it is. He tells me that it is work that has been deemed "messy" by his reading teacher. I look through the "messy" packet and do see some spots of messy work, but certainly not worth re-doing 8 pages. (They are writing pages where he writes letters on the top half, sentences on the bottom and then a few words on the back for him to write, nothing to read).
After about 10 minutes his teacher comes back from leaving the class at lunch. She looks over what he is doing and asked him what the packet that was just laying there was for. He says something about re-doing it because it's messy so she takes it and throws it in the recycling. The whole time he sat there he continued to keep working.
Eventually the recess bell rings meaning lunch is over and recess is to begin. He's still got about 2 pages left and he keeps going. He is a bit upset because now he knows lunch is over. He finally finishes the packet at 1:17. Lunch started at 12:45 and ended at 1:10 (I think on the ending). He takes it over to the reading teacher sitting in the pod eating her lunch. She says something about doing his work and then looks through the packet again commenting that it is sloppy. At this point what wouldn't be sloppy now that he has done 15 pages in about 75 minutes with no break. I'm tired just watching what he has done. I say nothing because I'm just observing.
He then goes into his room puts his pencil away and goes to find his lunch. He can't find his lunch because it was carried down with the lunch bucket. Lunch is over by this point for more than 10 minutes. He asks his teacher and she tells him to go check the lunch bucket. He heads down to check the bucket and gets his lunch. He not realizing lunch is over wants to go in to the lunch room to eat lunch. I tell him that lunch is over and that he can't go sit in there. The tables are all folded up.
I care no more about what he is supposed to be doing and take him to sit on the couch by the front door so that he can finally sit down to have lunch. He and I sit there while he eats. The recess bell rings and he's like that the bell. I just tell him to finish eating his lunch because I'm not leaving him hungry or without eating.
He finishes his lunch after the 25 minutes I gave him and we head back down to his class. He goes in to sit down with the other kids and the teacher tells him to go sit at his desk and work on something, I wasn't sure what. I stand there a few moments to make sure he's going to be ok, but I can't take much more so I know I should leave.
I head back to the office where I ask to see the principal, but he's not available. I give a short synopsis to the office person and ask if it's normal that kids have to miss their lunches to do work. She takes some notes and says that she will have the principal give me a call.
That is the story. I'll come back later to react and add some details.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Just keep trying...
I'm reading the new Duggar book and I am enjoying reading it. It is so encouraging and positive to read. I love large families and I love that they are sharing the dynamics of theirs and how they make it look like it's running so smooth. While I'm sure they have moment when there house isn't running smooth or there house is over run my mess and total chaos, they make it look so easy on TV. I've been trying to use her not yelling idea and to speak to my kids in a soft tone. To work on my patients when speaking and dealing with the kids, but mine seem to have no idea how to listen to a person talk in a normal voice.
I attempted this with all the boys last night and while I was able to do it with the younger 3, Zachary wasn't having it. He was going to disobey over and over to see how far I would go. I must say I made it through without hurting him but he did have to have several timeouts to make it through. I am going to work on behavior jars this week and hope that we can keep up with them enough to cut out some of the yelling and fighting it takes to get the boys to obey.
I didn't do so well with Zavier today as he has already been in time out 3 times today. While I don't mind putting them in timeout, Zavier won't even stand appropriately and so when I'm trying not to spank or yell that make it very difficult.
Zander isn't doing well either, because no matter how busy I keep him he still finds time to get in trouble. Then Zavier gets in trouble for hurting Zander for being a toddler and it's just a not pretty cycle. For the moment Zander is on my lap combing his hair and Zavier is watching TV peacefully for a few minutes.
And my attitude was so excited this morning.
I woke up in a good mood and everyone did most of what they were asked without many reminders and then it started.
Tony's parents sent a card for Zavier's birthday, a walmart gift card and a "family" check for Christmas. It came the day Tony was sleeping after working a 24 hour shift and so as to not get in a fight about it, I had held off on talking about it. While there isn't much to talk about overall, I don't want the check. We are doing so well financially right now and are headed into an even better place in the next 30 days, we just don't need it. We're going to be completely debt free in less than 40 days and I want to do it on our own since we worked so hard paying off the van in Feb of last year. I don't know his parents financial situation and it isn't my business, but I know we're not in need. Well this morning as we were texting about the gift card since we buy all cash and gift cards from our kids and put the money into their savings. I was just making sure he didn't want the card for anything in particular cause I was needing a few items from walmart.
However this morning when I went to the car, I noticed that the envelope from the ILS was misplaced slightly from the last time I saw it. No one else drives my car and my kids don't mess with stuff in the front seat. They are in such a hurry to get out of the car that they barely remember their own stuff. I picked up the envelope and looked inside the huge hole that the post office tore in the envelope and the check had magically disappeared. Gift card was still there as was the card from the envelope.
I can only assume that Tony took it and while it is his. I don't want it and I don't want the money spent by us. He doesn't need it and he ruins all that I wanted to do for him when we get to be debt free next month. I am heavily considering not buying him the laptop he needs to deploy and turning into a super bitch over this. I am tired of him doing this shit behind my back and treating me like a fucking idiot. The whole I didn't take it, did you look on the seat, etc...it's all bull shit.
I was so happy with him today and for the last few weeks. We've been communicating well and working well together and now it's not the same. I'm not sure what he is claiming happened to the fucking check, but it didn't walk away and I never even took it out of the envelope. I hope he enjoys letting this stupid fucking money ruin what was going so well, because I don't by the bull shit that it just up and walked away.
It is things like this that keep me from wanting any relationship with his family for me and the kids. He acts like a little fucking child whenever anything to do with them comes up and it is highly unattractive at all. While he has being the man down in most situations in our lives he can't get over the "money gifts" from mommy.
So I guess I should be careful of people breaking in my car now to steal a check and leave a gift card. Seems logical.
I attempted this with all the boys last night and while I was able to do it with the younger 3, Zachary wasn't having it. He was going to disobey over and over to see how far I would go. I must say I made it through without hurting him but he did have to have several timeouts to make it through. I am going to work on behavior jars this week and hope that we can keep up with them enough to cut out some of the yelling and fighting it takes to get the boys to obey.
I didn't do so well with Zavier today as he has already been in time out 3 times today. While I don't mind putting them in timeout, Zavier won't even stand appropriately and so when I'm trying not to spank or yell that make it very difficult.
Zander isn't doing well either, because no matter how busy I keep him he still finds time to get in trouble. Then Zavier gets in trouble for hurting Zander for being a toddler and it's just a not pretty cycle. For the moment Zander is on my lap combing his hair and Zavier is watching TV peacefully for a few minutes.
And my attitude was so excited this morning.
I woke up in a good mood and everyone did most of what they were asked without many reminders and then it started.
Tony's parents sent a card for Zavier's birthday, a walmart gift card and a "family" check for Christmas. It came the day Tony was sleeping after working a 24 hour shift and so as to not get in a fight about it, I had held off on talking about it. While there isn't much to talk about overall, I don't want the check. We are doing so well financially right now and are headed into an even better place in the next 30 days, we just don't need it. We're going to be completely debt free in less than 40 days and I want to do it on our own since we worked so hard paying off the van in Feb of last year. I don't know his parents financial situation and it isn't my business, but I know we're not in need. Well this morning as we were texting about the gift card since we buy all cash and gift cards from our kids and put the money into their savings. I was just making sure he didn't want the card for anything in particular cause I was needing a few items from walmart.
However this morning when I went to the car, I noticed that the envelope from the ILS was misplaced slightly from the last time I saw it. No one else drives my car and my kids don't mess with stuff in the front seat. They are in such a hurry to get out of the car that they barely remember their own stuff. I picked up the envelope and looked inside the huge hole that the post office tore in the envelope and the check had magically disappeared. Gift card was still there as was the card from the envelope.
I can only assume that Tony took it and while it is his. I don't want it and I don't want the money spent by us. He doesn't need it and he ruins all that I wanted to do for him when we get to be debt free next month. I am heavily considering not buying him the laptop he needs to deploy and turning into a super bitch over this. I am tired of him doing this shit behind my back and treating me like a fucking idiot. The whole I didn't take it, did you look on the seat, etc...it's all bull shit.
I was so happy with him today and for the last few weeks. We've been communicating well and working well together and now it's not the same. I'm not sure what he is claiming happened to the fucking check, but it didn't walk away and I never even took it out of the envelope. I hope he enjoys letting this stupid fucking money ruin what was going so well, because I don't by the bull shit that it just up and walked away.
It is things like this that keep me from wanting any relationship with his family for me and the kids. He acts like a little fucking child whenever anything to do with them comes up and it is highly unattractive at all. While he has being the man down in most situations in our lives he can't get over the "money gifts" from mommy.
So I guess I should be careful of people breaking in my car now to steal a check and leave a gift card. Seems logical.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Bonding with an unknown
I feel so weird trying to bond with this baby. I know she is in there, but I have no idea what it is like to have a girl. Will she be just like her brothers? Will she be girly or just another "boy" at our house? I also don't feel 100% on her name so while I do call her by her name, I'm just not sure that is her name. What if it's not her name? Tony is sure that is what her name is and he just keeps pushing it on me. While I like the name and can't think of another one to call her or give her I'm just not sure of her name. I do know that we won't be sharing her name until she is born and then I can see her and be sure that is her name. You know maybe she'll be born with a birth certificate like a cabbage patch baby. Even though the cabbage patch kids name suck.
She is a very active little bean and is always moving in such circles. At 26 weeks she has about 2-3 active periods a day where she just kicks, moves and squirms. She is big enough now that my belly jumps as she moves around and Tony, Zayden and Zavier have all got to feel her on the outside. Zachary wasn't interested when the others got to feel and Zander is still quite oblivious to the baby. I do talk with Zander all the time about his sister. I don't bother her in my belly like I did with the boys. I used to poke at them to get them to move and with her I don't bother her. She is so good at being so active during the day that I don't feel like I have to. I can usually pin point her last active session so I worry less.
Yesterday baby and I had our glucose test, so hopefully that will come back alright. She didn't over react to the drink like some babies do. She did wake up about half way through rearranged herself and then seemed to go back being still.
I have moments that I'm sad that she is the last. However there is no guarantee she'll be the last, but I'm ok being done now. Our car is full and we'll probably have to upgrade in a year or so anyway so that I don't have to risk safety to fit everyone in the car.
She is a very active little bean and is always moving in such circles. At 26 weeks she has about 2-3 active periods a day where she just kicks, moves and squirms. She is big enough now that my belly jumps as she moves around and Tony, Zayden and Zavier have all got to feel her on the outside. Zachary wasn't interested when the others got to feel and Zander is still quite oblivious to the baby. I do talk with Zander all the time about his sister. I don't bother her in my belly like I did with the boys. I used to poke at them to get them to move and with her I don't bother her. She is so good at being so active during the day that I don't feel like I have to. I can usually pin point her last active session so I worry less.
Yesterday baby and I had our glucose test, so hopefully that will come back alright. She didn't over react to the drink like some babies do. She did wake up about half way through rearranged herself and then seemed to go back being still.
I have moments that I'm sad that she is the last. However there is no guarantee she'll be the last, but I'm ok being done now. Our car is full and we'll probably have to upgrade in a year or so anyway so that I don't have to risk safety to fit everyone in the car.
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