Love being a mom of 6

I know it is all still new, but I'm loving being a mom of 6. Maybe it is because I was just so miserable being pregnant, but I feel so much better with him out of me. I can actually keep up with the house as much as I want and don't have to just lay and look at the dirt and filth like I did when I was pregnant. Mason is so far a very good baby so I'm able to cook and clean as needed. However he does like to eat when I do so he does end up with food on him sometimes. I try to spend a few hours every afternoon devoted to just holding and cuddling with him as I know these newborn moments don't last long. 

Abbie has turned into a terrible 2 year old (she turns two in two weeks). That is probably the biggest problem I have is being able to keep her out of stuff while I'm feeding or holding Mason. Tony has started offering to take her with him when he does things on the weekend to get her out of my hair for a bit. She's a fun feisty little thing, but she just is into stuff all the time. And she has already learned how to get the bigger boys in trouble when they get her out of stuff (she screams like she's being hurt). 

Overall I guess going from 5 to 6 wasn't that hard (at least not yet).

Mason had his 2 week check-up this week and weighed 9lbs 15oz. He is quite a big boy. He nurses great and sleeps well at night most nights. I do think he overeats and spits up more than I like, but with an oversupply there isn't much he can do about it. 

Being team green.

Before with most of my other pregnancies I thought going team green was crazy. Who wouldn't want to know what the sex of the baby was if you could? We attempted to not find out with Zavier, but only because I didn't want to hear what people had to say about the "dreaded" third boy. However that lasted as long as our u/s appt and by the time we got home we opened the envelope to see he was indeed our third little boy.

After having Abbie we we're finally on the other side of having boy stuff and girl stuff and it no longer really mattered what the baby was. S/he was exactly what God created for our family and we'd find out at delivery. Tony was a little less on board originally and I too thought I would waver and not stick it out. During my first appointments with my midwife I said that we wanted to be team green. She jumped on that and without her I probably would have found out at our u/s, but she had made it very clear to them that we didn't want to know. (However looking back the u/s tech did call him a "he" several times which is the same thing the tech did with Zavier, and as the mommy I knew they were calling them correctly each time.) Tony held out hope though that this was our second little girl, but I just knew it wasn't.

Now as far as feelings through the pregnancy, it was an emotional wavering roller coaster. I'd have moments that I didn't care what baby was and then moments later be all crazy with emotions not "knowing who baby was". I spent a lot of time not knowing who baby was because I couldn't call it by name. I didn't really call him much during my pregnancy. I did go back and forth with our boy and girl names.

While we were pretty set with our girl name or its alternative we struggled a lot with a boys name. Having the 4 boys already that all started with a "Z" I wasn't sure I could leave that. I have tried with Zander and a little with Zavier, but Tony kept saying "they were last". Haha. I finally decided it was up to me to just pick something we liked and name him that. While one of Tony's siblings is bent out of shape that the pattern of family naming didn't include them, I decided that it was a risk we'd have to take. We decided pretty early on that we weren't going with a "Z" name. We originally talked about Asher to stick with "A" theme with Abbie, but the "A" names I liked we had used with the other boys (Anthony, Aaron, Alexander-Zander). Even though I greatly considered using some of them again and trying to decide just how close Alexander/Zander were. I wanted to just use Joshua, but Tony wasn't as sold on it as I was.

One day I was taking a bath and was scanning boy names in my head and Mason just popped in the list. I then mentioned it to Tony and he said he really liked it. While I think he was set before I was it was now our front runner. I still tried to go with Joshua as soon as we were out of the tub after birth, but Tony still wanted Mason. That made Joshua second (his biblical name). We took the next 4 days before we took the time to discuss what his other middle name would be. We even almost didn't give him one. We finally decided to use Robert as it was Tony's grandfather's name.

While we say we're done with babies team green was really fun. I loved announcing it when he was born. If we have any more children I will again wait it out and find out at birth because it was something fun on delivery day, a day that is super painful for me.

And I must say he fits his name and it fits him. I call him Mace or Macey (which will wear off and he won't always be called a girls name ;) )

Mason makes 6!

On Feb 27th 2014 @ 1:04 AM, Mason Joshua Robert made his way into the world. He was our team green baby as we didn't find out what he was before he was born. He is an amazing little guy and so far a good baby.

Birth story: Mason was our second planned home birth. Most things about this birth were completely different from the others. On Wednesday the 26th in the am I started losing my bloody mucus plug. Lost it throughout the day but no real contractions. I spent the day schooling the big kids and cleaning the house in an effort to keep moving. I had texted the midwife in the AM that I was losing my plug as she had asked me to let her know.

I finally laid down to nap as I was tired and nothing was happening and I was a bit excited to get it over with during the day as delivering at night is exhausting. I had a few real contractions while laying down but they were random and scattered. In the evening when Tony got home around 5 contractions were still all over but a few were close and painful. The midwife came by checked my blood pressure and baby's heartbeat and then I had her leave as I wanted to lay down and sleep. However I knew once I nursed Abbie before she went to bed it would force contractions, but I needed to lay down.

Midwife left at about 7:30. We got the kids ready for bed and I laid and nursed Abbie. It did start contractions and they were painful, but I just attempted to sleep through it for an hour. At 8:50 I got up to use the bathroom. When I returned to the bedroom I just stood next to the bed leaning over it with my legs apart to encourage baby to drop down and encourage contractions. However what that caused was my water to break. My water has never broken in it's own other than with Abbie when it broke during pushing. I said to Tony " I either peed myself or my water broke and off I took to thebathroom  where I was able to quickly confirm that it was my water so I had Tony text the midwife that.

I then hopped in the shower while Tony nicely cleaned up the floor next to the bed where I was standing and then the bathroom floor. I then stayed in the shower for the next almost 3 hours. However I didn't move at all until the midwife arrived and checked baby's heartbeat as I was afraid of it compressing (presenting first). For the next 2 hours I prayed a steady prayer of "Please don't let this hurt me,  please make it fast and easy, please keep baby safe." While I never stopped quietly speaking those words while in the shower I did eventually end up sitting and eventually on the floor. I was checking my own cervix and placement of baby. At one point I said to the midwife that the baby was so high because I could hardly feel it so I had her check. She said I was at a 6 but that to her baby wasn't far away and it was my position that made it feel like baby was high to me.

I must add as well that at this point I named the baby even though I didn't know he was a boy. During my praying I said that I would name him Joshua. Not sure why that exactly came to mind but it did.

I was finally talked out of the shower around midnight. Attempted to sit on the toilet or lean over the counter, but that didn't last long as I wanted the water back. Thankfully Tony had turned up the water heater and I was able to get a good half tub of water. From there things went quick but it was all so painful. Every contraction killed. No amount of water or counter pressure could ease any pain. I was still very scared to push as it wasn't going to relieve any pain. I tried hard to hold out but I finally gave in. I pushed through one whole contraction and then on the next one I pushed and pushed until his head was out. I had talked to the midwife before about pulling baby out instead of waiting for next contraction as I remember how horrible it was with Abbie. So at that point I said get it out and the midwife basically leapt in the tub to get behind me to get it out.

She then handed him to me and I pulled him up. After a few breathes I  said what is it and since I was holding baby I knew I could look and I did. I said "it's a boy," I did then double check to make sure those were balls and not swollen girl parts. Lol.

Mason laid on my chest in the tub and whimpered. I just talked to him about how neither of us were comfortable and that it would get better. I was eager to get up and out so after about 14 minutes his
cord stopped pulsing and I had delivered the placenta so Tony held the baby and the midwife held the cord and I cut the cord.

Tony then held the baby while I rinsed off and came to get in the bed. I then nursed my little man. I told Tony I wanted to name him Joshua and he said Mason first and so I said ok. We had talked about Mason before as our boy name so then he was instantly Mason Joshua. I nursed him for a bit and then the midwife checked him and Tony dressed him. He weighed 8lbs 5oz with a 14 inch plus head and a very big chest too. He was 21 1/2 inches long. He checked out amazingly. Shortly after 3 AM the midwife packed up to leave. She had cleaned up the bathroom and Tony had brought me some toast since I was interested in much else.

He whimpered a bit for a while but was breathing fine and his chest and lungs were clear. I finally decided he was just expressing my feelings of pain. I slept for about 2 30 minute periods as I just stared at him. His face was quite bruised from his rapid decent down the birth canal.

Just like every day a little before 7 am in came Zander and Abbie. Abbie popped up over the bed to see Mason nursing and was less than impressed. Zander as well didn't want to see baby so he laid down to cuddle with daddy. Zayden rushed right in excitedly and Zavier shied away. Zachary had been up until about midnight because he was still awake when I announced my water broke so he was tired but came in shortly. All 3 big boys took a turn holding him.

We finally agreed on Robert for his second middle name yesterday so that we could go ahead and get his birth certificate filed.

One semester down.

We survived our first semester homeschooling. It went well other than the every day shock that we were going to do school each day. While some people loosen up when that kind of pressure is on, we did not because having something for them to do each day was better than them having nothing for days.

The nice thing about being in El Paso has been the weather. We have had small boughts of cold weather making it so the kids can't go outside, but for the most part many afternoons are just spent outside playing.

I like having the kids at home and other than a few small complaints I think the children like it better as well. Zachary would like more friends, which has been a struggle between me being sick from being pregnant and co-op being during nap time so that we skipped out on it. He does have the one little neighbor boy that he plays with when he's not grounded (usually for attitude) so he could play more if he kept his attitude in check.

Zayden has proven to be the most difficult, but he was the one I didn't want to homeschool the most. But at the same time feared which course of the path he would follow if continuing in a public school. He's easily persuaded to make bad choices, bully others, and be that trouble maker. He is however learning and we're working through it. He survived the semester as did I so we're getting somewhere. Hopefully he'll catch on about how easy homeschooling will/can be as we continue on. Then he should be able to have more independent studies like Zachary, however I do know he's sneaky so he will have to be more monitored.

Zavier other than being Zavier and in la la land a lot does wonderful at school. If I can devote my mornings about an hour he's usually done and can  more on to other activities for the day. He still usually won't help clean up and is good about slipping out of responsibility, but maybe as he ages that will change a bit.

The ups and downs

Of the lovely pregnancy hormones. It is now affecting my sleep as I can't fall asleep because I worry about the silly things moms usually worry about. Like are my children feeling loved, did I yell at one too much, am I just ruining them? Whatever the thoughts are they keep me up and force me to lose sleep, that is already precious to me. It was also a long weekend with Thanksgiving and Tony spend 24 hours sick so when he napped I had to nap cause I was out of things to do.

The kids are doing fine in school, other than the constant fighting they do with each other. Last week Zachary "accidentally" hit Zavier in the face with a chair which left it super swollen for 2 days and for the last 3 with a bruise from is eye down his face and across one cheek. Getting them to keep their hands and actions in check is still a long work in progress. However I'm not sure it's any different than anywhere else.

Zachary has finally figured out that if he gets the teacher's book reads through the list of assignments and gets them done, he can be done for the day. He will sometimes pass the assignment info onto Zayden, who does most of the same foundational work. He then usually has the most free time to do as he wishes. Zachary is lacking a few hobbies to keep himself busy and out of trouble though so we'll have to work on that.

Zayden is the one I struggle most with. He absolutely flips out when given instructions to do an assignment, even if it is something he's familiar with. We have started a new reward chart so hopefully that will get us somewhere closer to controlling our reactions.

Zavier does well when he can focus on what his tasks are. He does better with things he has to interact with. He really wants to play on the computer so we're going to add that as his reward for completing work in a timely fashion. He also needs to work on keeping his hands to himself.

Zander still just does what he wants. He's been gluten free for several weeks now and that has helped his tummy troubles he was having. I now feel he needs to be milk free as a big glass of milk upsets his belly, but emotionally I'm not sure he can give up his chocolate milk routine in the AM. We have been using Almond milk for a while and he will drink some of that, just not sure he's ready for a whole cup of that.

Abbie is a very busy, naughty toddler. She is always doing something, majority of the time it is stuff I wish she wasn't doing. She is very verbal and is quickly developing new words and phrases. She for the most part won't let me give her a sippy cup, which is fine other than she likes to wander around with an open cup of milk. But she is the light to several of the bigger boys and to her parents as she's so cute when she "practices her naughty skills". She has been a real life changer. :)

Baby #6 is still baking and a very busy little thing. We hit our 3rd trimester this past week so it will be over soon. We still don't know what baby is, but Zavier and Mommy say boy and everyone else says girl. I don't care either way, I just like to give them a hard time so I call it a him and daddy calls it a her. We will see in March.

Waiting on #6.

That's right we are waiting for baby #6 in the spring. We had our anatomy scan on Friday and there is is one healthy little baby swimming around in there. We decided to go team green, which means we don't know if baby is a boy or girl. The ultrasound tech did great at staying away from the sex, while still getting all the measurements.

Tony and I agreed him more reluctantly to not find out what baby is, and he's good with it. However now I can't stop thinking about it. It just feels weird to know I'm going to go in to labor in March and then have to get all the way through it before I know who this baby is. It's just different since we have always known. Zavier is the only one who wants a brother. I keep teasing Tony that I don't think he can handle any more girls though between Abbie and I he has more than enough. :) I honestly don't care either way so it won't matter to me. I'll just have the little bit of girl and boy newborn clothes washed and separated so that the baby can have clothes. I don't like yellow, green or white so that doesn't leave many other color choices that aren't one sex or the other.

Keeping the drama off facebook for today.

Today I'm just mad and annoyed. I don't really feel like I live in a free world. I feel like it's a world full of sheeple. Every one has to do the same thing and just fall in line. Every one is judging everyone over choices that are none of their business. If I only had it in me to have Tony get out of the Army and move to a foreign land to a village with no judgement from outside and no interaction with sheeple.
What exactly is my husband and family fighting and sacrificing for if we're not really free? There are so many things I don't know about what is going on in the world/country right now. And I feel to stupid to figure them all out.
I know that the answer is to turn to Jesus and trust in him but it is so hard with so many outside influences. I probably need to take a nice long break from the internet and just hang with my kids and teach them. I do wonder again what the purpose is in life since I am such a tiny person that I don't really matter in the world. While I know I matter to God, and trust him, it's just hard when you can't see the bigger picture.

So for today I'll just give it all to God and pray for the outcome of Americans and hope that the bigger picture is all worth it.