Circling

I feel like I am running circles around people and their friend groups. I keep trying to branch out and try to get new friends and it just isn't working. I am still invisible. Not sure where to go from here but praying something good comes along. Mom will be here Sunday so that will be at least some adult conversation for a while.
I have just grown so much since Tony and I started dating almost 11 years ago. He is truly my best friend. I can say anything to him and know he's on my side everytime except against him. ;) I love him as a parent to our kids. He has grown so much as a parent since we had Zachary 9 1/2 years ago. We were just at such an awesome place before he left. Life was in a very perfect place with the addition of Abigail. I feel like I had just fallen into my role as Tony's wife and not the head of the house. I am so happy as his wife and mother of his 5 beautiful children. Tony is such an amazing husband and father. 2 months down another 7 to go until he's back home with me and his kids.