Waiting on #6.

That's right we are waiting for baby #6 in the spring. We had our anatomy scan on Friday and there is is one healthy little baby swimming around in there. We decided to go team green, which means we don't know if baby is a boy or girl. The ultrasound tech did great at staying away from the sex, while still getting all the measurements.

Tony and I agreed him more reluctantly to not find out what baby is, and he's good with it. However now I can't stop thinking about it. It just feels weird to know I'm going to go in to labor in March and then have to get all the way through it before I know who this baby is. It's just different since we have always known. Zavier is the only one who wants a brother. I keep teasing Tony that I don't think he can handle any more girls though between Abbie and I he has more than enough. :) I honestly don't care either way so it won't matter to me. I'll just have the little bit of girl and boy newborn clothes washed and separated so that the baby can have clothes. I don't like yellow, green or white so that doesn't leave many other color choices that aren't one sex or the other.

Keeping the drama off facebook for today.

Today I'm just mad and annoyed. I don't really feel like I live in a free world. I feel like it's a world full of sheeple. Every one has to do the same thing and just fall in line. Every one is judging everyone over choices that are none of their business. If I only had it in me to have Tony get out of the Army and move to a foreign land to a village with no judgement from outside and no interaction with sheeple.
What exactly is my husband and family fighting and sacrificing for if we're not really free? There are so many things I don't know about what is going on in the world/country right now. And I feel to stupid to figure them all out.
I know that the answer is to turn to Jesus and trust in him but it is so hard with so many outside influences. I probably need to take a nice long break from the internet and just hang with my kids and teach them. I do wonder again what the purpose is in life since I am such a tiny person that I don't really matter in the world. While I know I matter to God, and trust him, it's just hard when you can't see the bigger picture.

So for today I'll just give it all to God and pray for the outcome of Americans and hope that the bigger picture is all worth it.